8 tails of imprinting, One tale of love
by Forever in Your Heart
Summary: A series of oneshots about the pack and their imprints. Sam/Emily Jared/Kim Quil/Claire Paul/Rachel Collin/OC Brady/OC Seth/OC Embry/OC Jacob/Leah
1. Picnic

8 tails of imprinting, One tale of love

Picnic

It was 9:00 a.m. on a Sunday and Emily was in the kitchen preparing food for the picnic. Every Sunday the whole pack got together and when the weather was nice we had a picnic. I watched her as she carefully folded the many picnic blankets into one of the baskets. The amount of stuff we always needed was ridiculous. But after all we were feeding 10 werewolves and their imprints. She was struggling with the lid of a container so I swooped in to help. I gently took it and removed the lid. She smiled up at me.

"Thanks." She murmured in her soft voice and my insides started to melt. I leaned against the counter as she worked. I wanted to help but she had refused. She said she liked preparing everything and after the last cooking disaster she didn't want me anywhere near the food. When everything was ready she turned to me.

"Jacob and Leah should be here soon to help us carry all of this. Though I'm not sure the 4 of us will be able to carry all of it." She said surveying the large assortment of baskets with a doubtful look on her beautiful face. I wrapped my arms around her waist and whispered softly in her ear.

"I'm sure we'll manage." I kissed her lightly on cheek. She leaned against me and let out a sigh. We stood there for a while just enjoying the feel of each other. After a while she turned to face me and I couldn't stop myself from kissing her. I kissed each one of her scars, the ones I had done to her; I could never forgive myself, and then kissed her soft lips. I was lost in a blissful oblivion until...

"Sorry to interrupt and all but don't we have a picnic to get too?" I turned to face Jacob and Leah. A part of me wanted to tell them to screw off but I knew I shouldn't. Instead I just glowered at them. Emily had already started loading them up with baskets. Once they were outside I snuck another kiss. She smiled at me before following them outside. I felt my mouth turning up into a smile as well as I shut the front door.

**A.N. I know this was short and probably a little awkward but I wasn't really comfortable writing in Sam's POV. I promise the rest will be a lot better. Review would be much appreciated!**


	2. Lipstick

Lipstick

Wednesday. Wednesday was the day everyone got together and ate supper. We all took shifts hosting it and today it was tacos at the Blacks. Mmmm I love tacos. I was at Kim's to pick her up but she was taking forever to get ready. I didn't understand, I mean it never usually took her this long. It wasn't like you needed to get all dressed up or anything. We were headed to the Blacks not some fancy smancy restaurant. But girls always did like to get all dressed up. Of course Kim could wear a paper bag and look stunning. Because she always looks amazing. Finally I decided to check out what was taking so long. Maybe she needed help with something. I went down the hall to her bedroom and knocked lightly on the door.

"Kim you okay in there?"

"Yeah of course. I'll be out in a second." I shrugged and headed back to the sofa to wait. I was in the middle of watching some messed up soap opera when the phone rang. I got up and answered it.

"Hello?"

"Hey Jared, what's the hold up?" It was Paul.

"Nothing. I'm just waiting for Kim to get ready."

"Well tell her to hurry up or no supper for either or you." And then he hung up. My stomach let out a growl and I made my way to her room again.

"Kim, you almost done? Paul just called and said that if we didn't hurry we wouldn't get any food." I heard a sigh.

"I'm almost done!" I decided I had to see what was taking so long. I opened the door. She was sitting on her bed with her hair all done up and a fancy dress and make-up on. She was trying to squish her feet into some crazy high heels.

"Kim what are you doing?"

"Getting ready."

"But what's with all the fancy stuff?" She turned away from me and her voice sounded choked with tears.

"It's just all the other girls are so beautiful and I always feel so plain when I'm around them. I just want to fit in." I shook my head and crossed over to her.

"Kim you are anything but plain. You don't need any of this stuff. God Kim you are more beautiful then all of them." She sniffled.

"You have to say that." I wrapped my arms around her.

"Kim no one thinks you're plain. And you do fit in. You have nothing to worry about." She nodded into my chest.

"I'm so stupid. And I'm sorry about dinner." I shook my head.

"Don't be. We'll just get dinner somewhere else." Then an idea struck me.

"Well since you are all dressed up why don't we go somewhere fancy. I have some money." She tried to protest but I silenced her. I pressed a kiss on her lips. I pulled back and she giggled.

"What?"

"You have lipstick on your lips."


	3. The Inner Musings of Girlfriendless Quil

The inner musings of a girlfriendless old fart named Quil

It was just like every other night I had off from patrol. I was sitting in my living room watching some crappy show and eating some leftover pizza. I was too lazy to warm it up so I was eating it cold. I was home alone and bored out of mind. I would have gone and visited Claire but she was out with her _boyfriend_. She was fifteen! She shouldn't have a boyfriend! I don't like him at all. Lucas. Humph idiot. I don't know what she sees in him. I tried to convince her not to go out with him but no, she just had to because he was so dreamy. I mean it isn't like I think she shouldn't date anyone but me or anything. It's just that I think she should at least pick someone who isn't a moron.

But then again what do I know. I mean I've never even had a girlfriend. But whose fault is that? Oh that's right Claire's. I should have that. No I shouldn't have. It isn't her fault anyway. I don't even want a girlfriend. And for the record I am not an old fart either! I can't believe she said that. I'm not that old! She treats me like I'm some annoying grumpy old man. Though it is better than her not talking to me at all. I mean I don't know what I'd do if she didn't talk to me. I think I'd die or something less dramatic. I never was one for dramatics. That was always more of Jake's scene. I would probably be a depressed, girlfriendless old fart. Yeah my future looks bright. I don't expect Claire to ever love me like that (though I wouldn't complain if she did). I'm perfectly happy being her (grumpy, overprotective, old) friend. As long as she is happy. Though I can't understand how she could be with _Lucas_. I mean what kind of a name is Lucas? He just sounds like a loser.

Thank god none of the guys are here. They would totally rag on me about how pathetic and sad I am. And I am aren't I? I wish I had a life! But I don't and I probably never wiil. Though at least I'm not a loner like Embry! Because after all Claire comes over once and a while. Not as much as she used to mind you. That really sucks. I wish she'd come more often. If I asked her too she would probably think I was a creep. Her best friend thinks I'm a pedophile (though that didn't stop her from trying to make a move on me). Really, I'm not. Though Paul never believes that. Stupid Paul. At least my imprint didn't lock herself in her room for fear I would bite her when I told her everything! Cough Jared Cough. Oh wait I haven't told Claire yet. Well I'm sure she will be totally mellow about it. Because she is just awesome.

Hey someone's at the door. Might as well get it. Hey it's Claire! Yay!

"Hey Quil, what's up? I broke up with Lucas, he was a total loser. I swear he was in madly in love with himself." I felt a smile explode on my face. I felt like doing a happy dance but decided against it.

"Good. Now you can get a respectable boyfriend." She nodded.

"How about Collin?" I almost choked on my own spit.

"Collin?! He already has a girlfriend!" She laughed.

"Geez realX1 I know, I was just joking. Though if they ever break up I will so be there in a second. He is so cool! But since he isn't available how about talking top Seth for me?" I was speechless. When I finally regained my voice this is what I said.

"But he is older that you!"

"Not as old as you though is he old fart." I mouth opened and closed a few times as she helped herself to my pizza. Seth w0ould definitely be getting a talking to.


	4. The Benefits of Heat

Heat really is a blessing

The sun was glaring through the window at me as though it had some sort of personal grudge against me. I scowled. Stupid sun. It was roasting hot and being a werewolf I was already a million degrees too hot. There are definitely things that suck about the whole werewolf thing. I felt like I was going tom melt into a puddle of goo. I needed a fan or something. Of course this stupid house didn't have a fan. Why is that? I don't know. Ugh. That's it I have to get out of here!

I quickly sped out of the house toward the beach. I'll just dive into the ocean or something. That'll cool me down. Unless of course the water has all evaporated due to the mental heat. Isn't it supposed to be really cold and wet here all the time? The weather man is never right. I'm going to boycott the stupid weather channel.

I ran off the nearest cliff into the water. It was still there but warm. Not boiling but warm. So much for cooling down. Does the whole world hat me? No just that freaking sun! If I could kill it I would. Because who really needs the sun anyway? I sure as hell don't. If one good thing comes out of this heat I'll send Sam flowers. And Jake to just to be nice. Jake would probably have a brain aneurism. All the more reason to send them then.

Alright this sucks. I'm getting out. Maybe I can have an ice cold bath. Or not seeing as I don't really fit in the bathtub any more. Why am I so huge!? This sucks crap. I would lie on the beach but I'd probably turn into a crisp. Well at least I wouldn't have to be cremated. Geez I'm such a freak. But the heat is making me crazy.

I pulled my feet through the hot sand with my head down. Then all of a sudden BOOM! Someone ran into me and tumbled into the scorching sand. It was a girl. Her black hair was pulled in a ponytail and she was dressed only in a pair of shorts and a sports bra (well there was sneakers too but those didn't seem important). I reached a hand to help her up and then her eyes met mine.

I won't describe the feeling because I'm not sure I could but I knew one thing for sure, Sam and Jake would definitly be getting some flowers.

**A.N. I know it is short. But the next one will be longer I promise! Yay Paul and Rachel meet!**


	5. ImprintBest friend get together

The Horrors of an Imprint-Best Friend Get Together

Hi, I'm Collin. Collin Khail. And I'm a Werewolf. Yeah how's that for an opening line? Well enough about me. Today is a very special day. Why? Well today is the day I will introduce my amazing and wonderful imprint to the psychos known as the pack. It's a bad idea. A very bad idea. I mean they will scare her off. I know they will. Because they are a bunch of nutcrackers! Sorry I've picked up a few of Brooke's lines. Who is Brooke? Well only the most amazing girl ever. She has beautiful pale skin. She's like a glowing marshmallow. With the most awesome blue eyes that you just want to get lost in and these adorable freckles on her cheeks and nose. With the most sensational hair ever. A rocking blonde colour. It waves and curls and smells like vanilla and I just want to run my fingers through it. Okay that is just a tad bit creepy.

Oh and she's Canadian. And she gets s really pissed off when people make all these stereotypical jokes and stuff. She does not say eh or a-boot. She says about. And she is witty and funny and smart and she plays softball and soccer and is a total klutz. She has a crazy fish phobia and she dances like a spaz. And she loves the Harry Potter series and Star Wars. And that damn Obi-Wan Kenobi! She hates her laugh and she snorts. She loves to dress up but doesn't we make-up. She never swears though she does have substitute words. And that isn't even all of her. She is one hundred percent perfection. But I'll stop now because as Paul always says I'm the only one who likes hearing about the splendour of Brooke.

And I'm going to lose her. Because it isn't like I've told her everything and she knows that were soul mates, no we're just friends. Not even best friends, just friends. I am sooooo screwed. I'm actually headed to her house to pick her up right now. Brady's with me for like moral support and stuff. He is like a total lifesaver. If it weren't for him I would have never been friends with her. She would have hated me forever. Because you see we didn't get along when she first moved here. Then she left and I changed and when she came back I was trying to get on her nerves and then she started yelling at me but I wasn't listening because I was too busy staring in her eyes. If Brady hadn't realised what was going on who knows what could have happened.

He really helped me. You see when everyone else imprinted it was like a switch was flipped and they immediately knew how to sweep their imprint off their feet. Well not with me. I mean the whole gravity shifting thing happened but there was no switch flipping. When I'm around her I act like a total freakazoid. It's really pathetic. I am pathetic. I can't seem to get the whole sweeping off the feet thing.

It isn't fair all the others guys had it made. I mean they all turned in to wolves when were 16 or older. Not me. I was 13. 13! One minute I was me the next I was some immensely tall, huge, muscled dude! I mean I was a very unattractive kid. Well not always, I was cute once and then BAM! Not so cute. I mean my nose was an odd shape and my arms always seemed too big for me and I was rather scrawny with this horrible acne. It was terrible. I mean Jake always said we look like 24. So I looked like the retard who had failed a million times. Or like I was some creepy pedophile. Because when you're o0lder you just have girls all over you when you're 13 everyone just thinks you're a creep. It wasn't fair at all!

And don't even get me started on the imprinting! I mean Kim was already madly in love with Jared! All he had to say was hi and she was all over him! How is that fair?! My imprint hated me! I had to actually work for it! Arrrrgggghhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Alright breathe Collin breathe. Oh look here we are. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy oh boy oh boy! This isn't going to end well I can tell! Oh my god she looks beautiful. She's like some angel. I don't deserve her. I really don't.

"So you ready to meet the pack?" Brady asked her.

"Pack?" He grinned.

"Yeah of wild animals." She laughed her magical laugh.

"I think I'm good." The two of them chatted and laughed together as I walked along with my head almost exploding.

They got along really well. Maybe a little too well. Wait, what ,what if she, she likes him more than me!? What if she has a crush on him!?!? Why is this happening to me? WHY!? What have I done?! I have to relax. Pull yourself together man! Who am I kidding, I can't relax! It's so obvious now. I mean the girls always gravitated towards him but this is my soul mate! It isn't my fault I'm a loser. I can't help it! I'm the king of losers, no the God of Losers! And he he is like the God of Coolness! How am I supposed to compete against the God of Coolness!?

Look at me I am a loser thinking about the god of losers and coolness. I really need to get a life. But if they got together would I stop it? No because if she was happy I'd be happy right? Isn't that the way it works? But then again I'm probably the only one who lost their imprint in all of history. I mean if they get together I'll have to hang out with them. Because we can't tell her about the werewolves because she isn't his imprint and I couldn't tell her she was my soul mate if she was with Brady! Then they'd get married and have kids and I would see everything in his thoughts and if he imprinted she would be heartbroken! Why, why can't I be cool?

"Hey Collin you okay? You like a little off." Oh she was concerned for me. Well probably because she wouldn't want Brady to be upset if his best friend died.

"Fine. I'm fine." I am most certainly not fine! My life is ruined! Ruined! What am I talking about? They're just friends and Brady would never do that to me. Or would he? Brady! No chill Collin. I have some issues. It'll work out, it'll all work out. Aw crap, we're here.

**A.N. I know it is bit crazy and random and it doesn't make a lot of sense at some times but this is supposed to be his thoughts and they don't really make sense. Reviews are appreciated!**


	6. Sexy Back

Sexy Back- and no this has nothing to do with Justin Timberlake

Imprinting is evil. Well only to people who haven't imprinted. Those who have will say it's the awesomest thing ever. But it isn't. You see my best friend Collin imprinted. On a girl called Brooke Parks. It's not that I hate her and wish Collin had picked someone nicer,oh no quite the opposite. I mean when you first see her you don't stop and stare. She isn't one of those girls that stop you in your tracks. She one of the girls that the longer you look at her the more beautiful she becomes. Or at least that's what I think. Anyway back to why I hate imprinting. I have a crush or more like I'm in love with my best friend's imprint. Not good. I really wish I didn't but I do. No one knows, I'm pretty good at hiding it. And I would never act on it. So this pretty much just sucks. Big time. I hate this. I mean they're dating now and Collin is a bit spazzy but I would never even try and steal her. He's my best friend.

Today I'm at the shopping mall with Collin helping him pick out a gift for her birthday. The only problem is that I've lost him. I mean there are a million people here. One second we were together the next we weren't. Damn. If I don't find him soon he'll buy the whole damn mall. When it comes to Brooke Collin has a shopping issue. It's my job to make sure he doesn't go overboard. Which is hard to do if I can't find him. Well at least I'm taller than pretty much everyone so I can look over their heads. Where the hell are you Collin!? Whoops. I just knocked someone over. I reached a hand down to help them up. I didn't look at them, I was to be busy looking for Collin.

"Well thanks for the hand. Are you even paying attention to me?"

"What? Sorry I'm looking for my friend."

"Well waht does he look like?"

"Erm tall, black hair, muscley, blue jacket." Wow great description there. I took at look at her. Her back aws turned to me so that's all I saw but let me tell you she had a sexy back. A great butt, magnificent legs and some great golden hair. Pretty hot if I do say so myself. But enough about that. Back to the problem at hand. where is Collin?

"Is that him?" I looked in the direction her perfect hand pointed in. It was Collin.

"Collin! Collin, over here! COLLIN!!!!!" I was jumping around and waving my arms above my head. The little old lady next to me was looking at me funny.  
Collin the deaf boy that he was didn't seem to hear me. I set off in his direction with sexy back girl and the little old lady behind me. He was ducking into a very expensive shop. I finally caught up to him and grabed him by the arm. After some sharp words with him. I turned to thank sexy back girl when the old lady let out a shout.

"He's trying to go back in that store!" Damn it! I rushed after him and grabbed him by the arm. I kept a firm hold on him as I towed him outside the store.

"Thanks."

"Oh no problem dearie." She said giving me a smile.

"What about me? Don't I get a tahnk you?"

"I was just about..." It was the strangest thing. As her eyes met mine, it felt like my entire world was shifting. I cleared my throat.

"Thank you very much Miss...?" She smiled and my stomach experienced a strange swooping sensation.

"Katarina."

"Brady." I said extending my hand. She took and we shook hands.

"Well I feel like I haven't thanked you enough. Maybe you'd like to go get something to eat?" I smiled hoping to God she'd say yes. She let out a laugh like bells.

"I would love to!" The old lady said beaming. My eyes popped open. Katarina laughed again and I noticed the way her emerald eyes seemed to glow. In the end Collin, Katarina, the old lady and I went to the coffee shop. We were definitly the oddest group there. People stared at us a bit. I had the urge to ditch Collin and the old lady and run off with Katarina but she seemed to be enjoying herself. When it was finally over I ended up driving everyone home. The old lady thanked me profusely for the great day and I'm sure she winked.

When we dropped off Katarina I tried to get her number. She laughed and asked me how old I was. I said 16. She shook her head said I was too young for her and that she was only here visiting a friend. She really lived in Kentucky. My heart almost blew up. I would never see her again. That was unacceptable. I was not going to let this goddess walk out of my life.

"When are you going back?"

"Two weeks why?"

"Well then we still have some time to get to know each other right?"

"You're still too young for me honey."

"Really? How old are you?"

"18."

"18? That's not too old! Come on, please?" She rolled her eyes but gave me the number. I smiled victoriously. I had two weeks to convince her to stay in La Push with me. Ah crap. 


	7. PDA

**A.N. Wow. Sorry I haven't updated in ages. **

PDA is severely frowned upon...by your imprint. Well This Sucks.

I was the third youngest member of the pack and the second to last to imprint.

It wasn't fair. Every time we went on patrol I had to go with someone older for my protection. Because I was young and inexperienced. Ugh. I knew what I was doing and I'm sure Collin and Brady would agree that it was unjust. And not to mention that I had Leah chasing after me whenever I went somewhere. I mean yeah I love my sister but I'm not 4. I don't need a babysitter! And every time we fought vampires I didn't get to. I got to sit on the sidelines. Sure they told me that whatever crummy job I had been given was really important but I knew it wasn't. I thought that when Collin and Brady joined and were younger than me that I would move up. I wouldn't be the youngest and so I assumed I would be treated differently. Wrong. I just got lumped in the same group as them. I should have gone on strike or something. Hell I still should. I'm 31 for goodness sakes! I mean yes I still look 24 or something but I was in fact born 31 years ago. Which means that I am completely capable of taking care of myself!

They still won't listen though. I'm still Leah's little brother. Though I'm not so little anymore! Course I do get more action now. Kind of. We hadn't seen any vampires in years but I did get more patrol time because a lot of the other guys were spending time with their wives and kids. Not me though. Me, Quil and Embry are the only ones without kids at the moment. Though Embry will soon be leaving us. He was the last of us to imprint but he and his imprint got married last year. Her name is Caliana and I bet you she'll be pregnant any second and then bye bye Embry. Don't tell Leah I just said I'd bet you. I picked all this betting stuff from the guys but Leah gets really angry. Says gambling is bad.

I imprinted way before Embry. 5 years ago to be exact. Only problem was that I was 26 and the girl I imprinted on was only 14. So obviously I didn't do anything about it. I didn't want the town to think I was a pedophile. The only good thing was that she was in Claire's class which meant that I had someone on the inside. Course at the time Claire didn't know anything about werewolves and imprinting so I had to be careful about what I said but it worked out in the end. And when Quil finally spilt the beans to Claire it was so much easier.

She was my little spy. She even befriended Summer. Yeah Summer is her name. Isn't it a beautiful name? Summer Robertson. She's 19 now and we started dating 3 months ago. Best three months of my life.

The rest of the pack thought it was really funny that Summer was in Claire's class. I found it helpful. And yeah they teased me because of the twelve year age difference but I really didn't give a crap. It could have been a lot worse. I could have imprinted on my girlfriend's cousin or a girl that totally hated me or that wasn't the relationship type or that was already engaged. So I think I got lucky o the imprint front. Not as lucky as friggin Jared but lucky all the same. I mean really though Kim was already in love with him! Could it get any easier for that guy?!

But back to me. Now that Summer and me are both legal and we can date without getting arrested, life is good. She knows all about the werewolf and imprinting thing and took it surprisingly well. I knew she would though. She's totally mellow. She's 100% perfect in every way. She isn't loud or obnoxious. Or rude, stupid, mean or clingy. Quite the opposite of clingy. Especially in public.

I'm not sure why but she is completely against any forms of PDA (Public Displays of Affection). When we walk down the street I can't hold her hand or put my arm around her shoulders. I can't hug or kiss her in public either. When we go over to people's houses I can't even sit close to her. She makes sure there is a healthy distance between us. To be honest you wouldn't even know we were dating. In private it's fine but apparently she isn't fond of an audience.

All the other guys cuddle and snuggle with their imprints in the same armchair. They hold hands and kiss each other like they have to to survive right out in the open. Not me and Summer though. She has no problem hanging out with us in public she just doesn't like to act realationshippy with me in public. I'm a little worried that she's embarrassed to be seen in public with me.

But that can't be right. I asked her once and she said that that was definitely not it.

"Of course I'm not embarrassed of you Seth. I just don't like everybody watching us when we're doing something intimate." It isn't like I had a choice though. If she didn't want to kiss me in public I wasn't going to force myself on her. I couldn't even if I had wanted to.

Today was one of those snowy days that look like they belong on a Christmas Card. It was a regular Winter Wonderland and I so wanted to reach out and grab her hand. The snow was falling and landing in her hair and clinging to her eyelashes. She looked picturesque. I was enjoying this vision of my very own snow angel when Paul seemed to decide it was time for a snow ball fight. I rolled my eyes, he was supposed to be older than me.

"So are you guys in or are you too chicken to go up against the magnificent Paul?" He said with a huge grin on his face. The grin was soon wiped right off when a snowball connected with the back of his head.

"Not so magnificent now are you?" Rachel said teasingly. Paul grinned at her.

"Oh you are so gonna get it!" She rushed off laughing as he chased after her. After that we all launched into a huge snow ball war.

Claire was hiding behind a mailbox launching snowballs at unsuspecting people as they passed by. Quil was running past me with an arm load of snowballs and Jake and Leah were having a vicious battle with Embry and Caliana. Brady had tackled Katarina into a snow pile and Brooke was whipping snowball after snowball at Collin. Emily and Kim had teamed up against Sam and Jared and I was dodging snowballs thrown by Claire.

Suddenly I caught sight of a wayward snowball Embry had thrown that Jake had dodged. It was hurtling straight for Summer's head.

"Look out!" I shouted running over. I flattened her to the ground just in time. She was pinned under me and looking up at me with wide eyes. I was hit with the sudden urge to kiss her. I couldn't stop myself so I leaned forward but before my lips could touch hers a snowball collided with the side of my face.

"Hey Sethie stop sexually harassing Summer! I'm sure she said no PDA!" I turned and stuck my tongue out at Leah and got off Summer. I offered her my hand and she took it. I was about to make a snowball to kill Leah with when Summer pulled on my hand. I turned around and she lightly pressed her soft, warm lips against mine. I almost melted into a puddle when she pulled back. I was standing there completely dazed and everyone was launching hundreds of snowballs at me but I couldn't care less.

Summer had just kissed me in _public_.

**A.N. Hey! I'm sorry it took me so long to update. Please review and tell me what you think! Also someone asked me to write a story just about Brady and his imprint. Well I've started it and its called Sexy Back and Werewolf Boy. So check it out!**


	8. Unnatural Wedding

The Warrior Princess and her Absolutely Mental Father

This was ridiculous. I mean really? Really? This should be illegal. How is it that the girl I imprint on is somehow already engaged? How the hell is that even possible? She's only 20 for goodness sakes! And hello she's supposed to end up with me! Not some weirdo that her dad decided is a suitable husband! Aren't arranged marriages banned? No? Well they should be! Especially this one! I do not approve!

Alright ,alright. Let me guess. You are totally confused? Well guess what? So am I. But anyway I can at least get you up to where I am in this tale of stupidness.

About a month ago I met a girl. And she wasn't any ordinary girl either. She was Caliana, daughter of Hiamovi High Chief of the Pallaton tribe. Yes I know she has a pretty impressive title. Before I continue I would like to say something. Hiamovi means High Chief. And he is High chief. Isn't that a little ridiculous? Oh and another funny thing. She has a brother called Machakw. Which means horny toad. Horny Toad! Now you have to admit that that is pretty funny.

Anyways back on topic. So I set eyes on this girl and boom! Imprintage. It should have been blue skies and rainbows right? Alas no. Because she is the princess of a crazy warrior tribe. Not cool. The first time I went to talk to her she almost killed me. And I'm a werewolf! After I talked her out of killing me, I told her everything. All the soul mate and werewolf stuff. She nodded and then the thing that would totally crush me.

"I am very sorry but I am already engaged to marry Wuyi, son of Etchemin, Chief of the Chayton." So here I am losing my soul mate to a guy whose name means soaring turkey vulture. Talk about retarded.

So I started thinking up a plan when she asks me to come meet her father.

"Please Kiyiya, come and speak with my father."

"Uh sure. But what did you just call me?"

"Kiyiya. It means Howling Wolf." I followed her then and came face to face with my worst enemy. He was a tall man with broad shoulders and an angry face. He glared at me.

"Daughter who is this that you bring before me?" He thundered down at her.

"He is Kiyiya and he has something of great importance to say to you father." She looks at me and I step forward.

"Uh hi. My name is actually Embry Call and yeah I have to talk to you." He glares angrily for awhile before speaking.

"Speak." I then launched into the story of werewolves and imprinting. I couldn't tell whether or not he thought I was totally mental. When I was done he surveyed me for a moment.

"My daughter shall marry Wuyi, son of Etchemin, Chief of The Chayton." My eyes almost popped out of my head.

"Their marriage has been arranged since birth and shall be honoured."

"Wait hold up for a second. This is an arranged marriage? Do you even love this guy?" I asked staring at her.

"My marriage will bring honour to my tribe and bind the alliance between our two tribes." I stayed silent for a moment trying to process what the hell was going on. It felt like I had been hurtled back in time. Or into some sort of movie.

"But arranged marriages are so centuries ago. I'm sure they aren't legal." Her dad looked like he would have loved to remove my head with the creepy spear he was holding.

"Um I'm sure there is some sort of way we can work this is out." Suddenly some guy in the background let out a suggestion.

"They can fight for her hand!"

"Yeah we could-wait what?! Oh no I don't want to fight anyone." Old chiefy seemed to be considering it.

"Daughter, do you wish to marry this man?" Jumping the gun a little weren't we? I had only just met her. I mean yeah I could go for marriage but she barely knew me. Which meant I was screwed.

"Father surely there is another way?"

"Either you pick this man to fight for you or you will marry Wuyi." She let out a defeated sigh.

"Yes father I want to marry him." Before I could process her response, her dadio was making plans.

"It is settled then. Tomorrow at Dawn Wiyu, Son of Etchemin, Chief of the Chayton will fight Embry Call for Caliana's hand in marriage. Hastiin! Go and summon Wuyi!" Oh dear. I knew nothing about fighting.

Later that night (I was being held hostage) Caliana came to speak to me.

"I am very sorry you are being forced to do this. I know a way you can escape if you want." I blinked slowly.

"What? No, I'm not gonna back out." She smiled.

"Well, good luck my brave Kiyiya." She said kissing me softly. I was suddenly filled with a newfound confidence. I could do this.

The next morning I came face to face with my opponent. He was a rather intimidating figure and if I wasn't a werewolf I would have made a run for it. We were each handed a spear and told to go at it. He lunged and I only managed to dodge because of my werewolf reflexes. I managed to grab his spear and fling it away. He then charged at me and punched me in the gut. And broke his hand.

He went reeling back, howling in pain. They all stared at me in amazement. Hiamovi looked at me with a grim expression on his face. Finally he cleared his throat.

"Embry Call is the victor. Embry Call, Caliana step forward." I stepped forward and stood next to her. She was dressed in all white.

"Let this tribe and our warrior ancestors be witnesses to the marriage of my Daughter Caliana and her champion Embry Call. With the power vested in me by our sacred ancestors I pronounce you bonded for life." And just like that we were married. Dressed only in my shorts and covered in dirt and sweat I was married. And had gained the most horrible father-in-law in the whole world. Well this would definitely be interesting to explain to the guys.


	9. Slutty Wedding Sex

**The Bitter Harpy Just Said She Wanted To Have Slutty Wedding Sex With Me. RUN!**

I shuffled my feet and tugged and my way too tight bowtie. It was ridiculously hot and I was melting in this stupid tuxedo. I was bored out of my mind and I was sure my brain was slowly dying.

I could see poor Collin dancing with some seriously pervy 80-something year old lady. She was clutching him tightly and stuffing his face into her chest. He was struggling and trying to escape but she kept him in her iron grip. I watched as she slid her hand down his back and gave his butt a good firm squeeze. I shuddered. Creepy old lady.

Sam and Emily were swirling around the dance floor looking like professionals and everyone was glaring enviously. Kim was feeding Jared cake like he was a two year old and Paul was molesting my sister. I growled. Couldn't he keep his filthy hands to himself? I started over in their direction to punch Paul in the face and to tell him that my sister wasn't his personal groping property when Embry grabbed my arm.

"Hey Jake. Maybe you should go get a snack or a drink. Or anything over here. Come on." He towed me in the opposite direction of that greasy pig. He ordered me a drink and left me in Brady's charge. I downed it in one go and reached for another. Brady was staring morosely into his Shirley Temple. I was on my fifth drink when Brady let out a sigh and flopped depressedly onto a stool.

I decided I was going to need a hell of a lot more drinks if I was going to deal with Brady's PMS. I could see Quil twirling Claire in his arms. The little girl was squealing delightedly. Collin suddenly popped out of nowhere and caused Brady to pour his drink all over himself.

"Hey." Collin said looking around nervously. Quite suddenly he dived behind Brady.

"Quick! Hide me! She's coming!" I rolled my eyes and left them to deal with the pedophile. I made my way across the room when my eyes landed on Leah. She was sitting alone at a table with a bottle of Champagne in her hand and a pissed off expression on her face. I chugged the rest of my drink before heading over to her.

She took a large swig out of the bottle as I approached. I leaned over and whispered in her ear.

"You in the mood for some slutty wedding sex?"

"Sure." I backed away, my eyes almost popping out of my head.

"I was joking." I said, hoping to God she had been too. She looked me directly in the eye.

"I wasn't." With that she downed the last of the bottle and grabbed a wine bottle off some waiter's tray. I almost passed out. Did she really just say she wanted to have slutty wedding sex with me? This can't be real.

Feeling the need for some hard liquor I grabbed an abandoned shot nearby. It wasn't enough so I made my way to the bar and snuck a bottle of vodka. I slumped in a chair and began chucking it back.

"Jacob you shouldn't be having so much to drink. It isn't healthy and you're underage." Rachel said disapprovingly. Paul had his arm around her waist and was grinning smugly. Biting back a retort and resisting the urge to deck Paul, I got up and went looking for Leah.

I found her with some scotch near the bathroom.

"Your offer still stand?" I slurred at her drunkenly. Her hand grabbed my shirt and threw me into the bathroom. She locked the door and started pulling off her dress. I finished the bottle and practically ripped my jacket off.

* * *

My head was pounding so hard it felt like there was a heavy metal concert going on inside. I felt so completely sick. I felt so bad that I just wanted to die. Why had I ever thought that much alcohol was a good idea?

Rachel was over taking care of me and lecturing me about my inappropriate behavior. That was definitely not helping. What was also not helping was the fact that I kept having random blurry flashes of last night's escapades with Leah.

That was definitely a bad idea. I was so totally screwed. How had I thought that would be a good idea?

I mean had I honestly thought that having random sex with Leah would benefit me in any way? I would love to blame the copious amount of alcohol I had consumed but I knew I was probably slightly at blame. Damn it my head hurts.

The shrill ringing of the phone made me clutch my head in agony. Rachel popped her head in a moment later telling me Leah wanted to see me.

How the hell wasn't she hung over? She had definitely had more to drink. And what did she want anyway? Was she calling me over to castrate me for taking advantage of her or something? Because even though I was sloshed out of mind it would be so Leah to try and blame me. Ugh I really don't like girls.

* * *

My head was still thumping but I decided it was better to get Leah out of the way. I was dragging my feet through the dirt and I felt extremely groggy.

I knocked softly on the door for fear of disturbing my head. The door swung open to reveal a very scantily clad Leah.

Even in my post-yet-still-kinda-hung-over state, my eyes were still bugging out of my head. She reached forward and yanked me inside. She slammed the door and crushed her lips on mine. I felt like I was burning. I was beyond comprehendible thought as she began towing me upstairs.

My hands seemed to be moving of their own accord as they trailed all over her and began tearing off clothing. We fell with a crash onto her bed.

* * *

I was still panting heavily as sweat dripped down my face. Leah was sleeping sprawled out and tangled in the sheets. My heart was thudding in my chest and I couldn't stop staring at her.

Now that I wasn't completely drunk I could remember ever detail of what we had just done. And I could definitely say I wanted a replay. But as my eyes roved over inch of her there was a strange feeling swirling in my stomach.

I vaguely recalled something of this sort for Bella and yet this was so much more, well I couldn't really describe it. Maybe it was the fact that me and Leah had started with the physical stuff and me and Bella had barely even started.

I wanted to kiss her and hold her and parade her around and say that she was mine. I wanted to laugh at all the other guys because they were missing out.

She was a goddess. It was silly how I had never noticed how breathtakingly beautiful she was. I ran a finger down her back. The skin was surprisingly smooth.

I'm not sure why but I had a new appreciation for Leah. She was beautiful, strong, witty and intelligent. And yes she was often bitter but I know that there is a wonderful person on the inside. Sam may have buried her but I'm determined to get her back. And to keep her.

I pulled her into my arms and snuggled down on the bed. I breathed in her scent and drifted off into dreams in which Leah and I were blissfully happy. Just like I was now.


	10. Fairytale

**Fairytales Were Far Too Overated Anyway**

Leah couldn't understand how this had happened.

She wasn't that girl. She wasn't the girl that fell head over heels for boys who whispered sweet words and flashed her a cocky grin. She didn't swoon over rippling muscles and she didn't gush over pretty gifts. She isn't that girl, at least not anymore.

She used to be that girl. Back when she was young and impressionable and believed in fairytales. Back when she used to stare into Sam Uley's eyes and see forever. Back when she used to dream of a cute little house with blue shutters, a flowery wedding and a few adorable kids who looked just like Sam and her. Back when she was nervous and silly and stupid and used to worry about her dad embarrassing her in front of her handsome Prince Sam.

That naive, innocent, pathetic little girl was gone. She had become bitter and twisted and hardened. She had had her heart broken one too many times and now it was beyond repair. Her handsome Prince Sam, who had been the subject of all her hopes, dreams and silly school girl fantasies had grown into a handsome strong man. He lived in a cute house with two adorable children and had a good job. He was respected and well liked and was madly in love with his soul mate. The only problem was that _she _wasn't his soul mate. Her heart had broken when he told her the news, when he dumped her, when her entire future collapsed all around her.

And before she could locate all the different shards of her heart she found out just who was his soul mate. It was her cousin, her best friend, her sister, the person she trusted more than anyone, well except Sam. But she had lost Sam and she had lost them. It was Emily. Emily Young. She had been betrayed by her best friend and price charming and she was all alone and she wanted to curl up in her bed and cry and cry and cry. Her heart had shattered into too many pieces to count and she knew that no matter how much duct tape she used she would never be able to tape it back together again.

After that the heart break and tragedies just kept coming. They snow balled until it was just too much. Her dad died of a heart attack, she was a werewolf, she was infertile, no one liked her, everyone fell in love, Sam and Emily got married, Sam and Emily had twins. And she, she had become the bitter harpy. She didn't know exactly when but she knew that at one point her heart had been completely destroyed and there was nothing left but a cold dark hole.

She had resigned herself, somewhere along the line, to the fact that she would never fall in love. She would never have a cute house with blue shutters, she wouldn't get a flowery wedding or a bunch of adorable kids and even in the long forgotten wisps of her dreams they didn't look like Sam. And her dad, her dad would never embarrass her.

And she was right, in a fashion. She never got a cute house with blue shutters. Her house didn't have any shutters because "...they were a stupid waste of money that could be spent on other things, like beer." She never had a flowery wedding, instead getting married in her mother's back yard with the barbeque grilling and the wind in her hair. She did get two children, but they caused so many problems she sometimes wondered why she had. And they didn't look anything like Sam. Not one bit.

She was still the bitter harpy. She was still sarcastic and still rolled her eyes. She still teased and made fun of the other guys but it was different. She smiled and laughed. She had friends and she was loved. She belonged somewhere and she had discovered that her heart hadn't been destroyed; it had just hidden itself away and had been waiting for the right moment to come out.

She wasn't supposed to get married and have a family; it was written in the stars. She was destined to be alone and bitter forever. But somehow, by some twist of fate she had defied destiny. It was by no means perfect but she loved it even more because of its imperfections. Her life was screwy and topsy turvy. It was a complete and utter mess and she had never been happier.

Her only regret was that her dad wasn't there to see her rise from the ashes and make something of her life. She could still remember with perfect clarity the moment that had changed her life forever. It wasn't even a moment but more of a realization. A realisation that had broken down ever wall and defied every law, the realization that had changed everything.

Leah's fairytale had never happened. And she was glad because if it had, she never would have realised that she loved Jacob Black so much more than she had ever loved Sam Uley.


End file.
